Choose carefully.

Care provider matters. Location of birth matters. Choose very carefully. Do not choose based on location's proximity to you, an appealing renaming of a facility, it's where your mother or sister gave birth, where your GYN is, or new beautiful renovations. Choose because you FULLY trust your care provider and the location where he or she delivers. Be sure you are getting personalized CARE and not just the routine. Ask specifics of nurses who work there, find out if the nurses and doctors have THEIR babies there, talk to doulas who have been to births there, take a PRIVATE childbirth class and ASK them, ask your provider how they like to work with doulas, what they will do in a stalled labor, when you're past due, how detailed and valued their nutritional education is, etc.  Do your research on statistics for each location, and do not stop until you are totally satisfied with your options.  Find out how often they see normal.  If they don't see it except for moms who come in pushing, then they also don't know how to react or support normal without trying to medically mange it. Recognize red flags and act on them.  Change is good in this case. Changing again is sometimes even better.  Often, it is not ever too late.  As a friend and mentor once said to me "You cannot go into Taco Bell and expect a Pizza."   And...I must add to her metaphor just a bit.  If you do go into Taco Bell wanting a Pizza and are ultimately talked into a taco being just as good, just know that you may never have an opportunity to eat a pizza ever again.  And maybe that taco will be just as good for you again and again and you'll only slightly desire a pizza in the future, but for some - it will become much more than just satisfying the need to eat, it will affect you in every part of your life more than you could have imagined.  Your birth depends on your choices more than anything else. You and your baby's birth deserve more research than your house, car, major appliance.  Maybe even as much consideration as when you chose your partner. Do not settle.  But, if you do - be ready to accept whatever outcome you get, knowing you had control to look into options and make choices about them.  Do not rule out anything because it scares you or because you don't know enough about it.  Learn.  Ask tons of questions.  If you don't know what to ask, find out.  Ask a doula.  Ask a childbirth educator.  Go to a birth friendly website to find out. Information eases fears.  Evidence based research cannot be manipulated as some people's words and opinions CAN be.  Also, a hospital is not the only place to give birth.  Feeling a certain loss of control at some point prenatally should tell you something about what to expect when you walk into the L & D room.  There really are care providers out there who will work with you and your individual situation as a respectful partnership and not impose strict protocols just because you have to go into a certain box.  And as much as I advocate for hiring a doula, there is really only so much a doula can help with at certain locations, up against a staff who finds us very counterproductive to their agenda. Sometimes our presence and mere suggestions alone are seen as interfering with 'the way they do things', no matter how safe, helpful, or important it may be to the birthing woman. And, yes...in the end, what we all need to have is a healthy baby and healthy mom.  In addition to that, though, as women...we desire to feel respected and supported and loved through the birth process.  It is important to our beings whether or not we realize before our first birth or after.  PEACE.

To read stories of women who've changed care providers and were glad for it, read here.